Log in

Livejournal Over.   
04:50pm 03/08/2005
  After wasting away two months of summer with hardly updating at all, I'm pretty sure everyone who would ever read this journal is gone.

I'm going to get rid of this journal, or simply stop posting henceforth. It was sort of a fun ride for the time it lasted.

After reading other journals for quite awhile now, I realize just how stupid they can be, and this one's no better. No one wants to read about anything I could possibly write, and quite frankly, I usually don't feel like writing about it in the first place, or at least at not such a diminutive medium as a stand-alone blog on fucking Livejournal.com.

I'm sure there would be all kinds of fun and interesting things to write about if I was a fun and interesting person. As it is, however, I'm not.

I might start a dedicated site sometime for the dual purpose of being a blog / art dump. As of yet, I don't know, but I've been thinking about it.
     Read 2 - Post
08:41pm 27/07/2005
  So no one seemed to enthusiastic about a site. I didn't think anyone would be.

If the internet were a physical community, I could see Livejournal being a large building full of teenagers all screaming about their opinions and daily lives, and no one giving a shit about either.
     Read 1 - Post
10:52pm 18/07/2005
  What's new:

Ceiling Fan
Metal Gear Solid III Soundtrack

Went to Wilmington, fun stuff.

Does anyone read this? No likes updating anymore. I'd like to see a more active LJ community between the little circle we have going here. Who knows, maybe we can setup a website of sorts. No one seems to be doing anything else.

If you guys want to, we can. I can get my web skills on, but not going to if everyone will drift into obscurity again and again.
     Read 4 - Post
Your mom.   
02:38am 10/07/2005
  Let me reflect here for a moment...

I'm sick of reflecting. I'm sick of contemplating shit so much. I don't want to change my image, I'm just fucking sick of thinking too much.

It's been this way for quite awhile now. I got so sick of it. Just thinking about everything, all the fucking time. To the point where taking any action, any at all, became an exercise in defeating illusionary sociophobia and paranoia.

I can't hardly be serious for more than a minute. So much shit I put myself through in the past was just wasted time and effort because I took myself too seriously, and I forgot that it's all my imagination. It's like imagining up the most hideous, fearsome beast your mind can muster, and then cowering underneath your bed every night because you think it's coming to get you.


Here are my current editorials:

The War in Iraq: Fuck, people are still arguing over this? Look. Who gives a fuck why we went there. Maybe because the President is a looney, maybe because he is a hero. Asking "Why" isn't going to make shit a difference on "how" we're going to win this thing.

Some things about Iraq.

1. We're not leaving for awhile, and no amount of hissy fits or Bush hate is going to change that. Anyone stuck on that should get the fuck over it, now. Even the radicals on the other side of the political compass realize that.
2. We're not going to lose it. We're the richest nation in the world with the most well-trained military in the history of mankind. if you think a bunch of assholes who blow up cars can beat the US, I suggest you
3. Despite all that, we need to get off our asses and do something. Anything. Make it look like we've made some sort of accomplishment. People are getting sick of sitting around and waiting for this whole thing to end.

London Bombings

Shit on a stick. I honestly don't know what the bastards who committed this were thinking. Britain is in no way like Spain, who capitulated in front of the message sent in the 3-11 bombings last year. The Brits survived the fucking Blitz. They had the shit bombed out of them daily. They spawned Wiston Churchill. You don't fuck with Britain, especially when a number of world leaders are meeting in the country. This might've been the start of Al Qaeda digging their own grave on the world, as Europe seems to becoming more unified against them as every day passes. In fact, I bet a number of Al Qaeda members didn't want this to happen.

London seems rather unfazed. The death toll is miraculously low, especially given the magnitude of the attack. When I saw this on the news when it happened, I thought to myself "What if this exact same thing happened in the US". I think we'd all collectively soil ourselves, and then see economic fluctuations, mass-paranoia, and further shitting on the Constitution.

Still. Sucks what happened. A few deaths is still not no deaths.

Hurricane Dennis

Everyone near the Gulf Coast should stop masturbating. Honestly, it'll help.
GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!!!111.   
02:30am 10/07/2005

So what's been going on?

Nothing much really.
08:47pm 19/06/2005
  ShadowsandAshes (8:40:45 PM): what's up?
The Xyco (8:40:58 PM): sex
The Xyco (8:41:03 PM): sec
The Xyco (8:41:06 PM): god
The Xyco (8:41:12 PM): typo of the century

I'll do a big update about the NYC trip later.
Where's Waldo?   
10:58pm 13/06/2005
  In New York. I'll be back on Saturday-ish.  
     Read 2 - Post
Do you know the muffin man?   
02:14am 06/06/2005
  "Why do you bake muffins when the communists are attacking?"

"Because, you see, the muffins are a symbol of individualism in direct opposition to the communist philosophies. The muffin mix, which represents the wholistic communist populace, is split into multiple parts, individuals if you will, that are all tasty and delicious as individual muffins, and don't need to remain as a singular batter to maintain their scrumptuous flavor. THAT is why you bake muffins when the communists attack."

Chlorine is fun.
     Read 1 - Post
02:02am 04/06/2005
  SciVis Grades-

First Quarter - F
Second Quarter - A
Exam - A

Course - A

Take that fate. Went from an F quarter grade to an A final grade. I didn't even know that was possible.

I have won the day.
     Read 2 - Post
The Blunder Years   
08:47am 24/05/2005
mood: balls
Sorry for the lacking in updating thing...ing... yeah... Things haven't been too happy around here. Not "not happy" as in "omg emo" but "not happy" as in "JG* Christo when the fuck will Friday come around?" (* I've concluded that Jesus's middle name must be "God" or "George")

For the past couple of weeks it's been typin non-stop for projects and the like. I've found it kind of hard to write recently, I'm typed out, so to speak. Finished novel prject, portfolio (with page-long reflection question answers), and a four-page proposal to try and revamp the school newspaper.

Last night I also started a lengthy film script thing. I originally wanted to write it in novel form, however, the excessive amount of descriptions and whatnot necessary to compose a narrative format is way beyond my capabilities as writer at this given point in time. I might go back and do that way, I don't know. Writing in script form is a thousand times less headache, and it really lets the story speak for itself. Then again, novel format is much easier to read, and if willing enough, I can make it alot better that way. I don't know how I'll do it all yet.

When the f-f-fuck will this be o-o-over!? I hate to blog bitch all morning, school just seems like a complete waste of time this week, except for Trig, maybe. Now we are being told we are going to be taking field tests for AP US History, and not showing up means failing the class. Bleeding Mary yo, enough is frickin' enough. It's not so much the fact that I'll have to crawl out of bed Friday morning and take a test as it is the principle of the matter, especially when they throw this at us three days beforehand. I guess since it's a field test and it doesn't count for anything provides some level of consolence. I honestly fell worse for you kids going into that class next year, since it'll be EOC-ish. I've already gotta get up early through Saturday to take male-parental-designate to the airport, so the more I think about it, the less I care. Still though, I hate GCS with a burning passion.... burning... haha... burn...

Yesterday was bumpkins. The afromentioned father-figure and I went over to Wesley Long to pick up the wooden laminate cabinents he got for free for the garage. Little did we know that they were eight feet tall and weighed three-four hundred bloody pounds, maybe more. We took the shelves out (which were also wooden laminate) and put everything in the back of the Acura. The tailgate was hanging open, and the shelves we took out started to slide on each on the way back. Looking behind me, I saw one just barely hanging out the back, abotu to fall out and hit the car behind us as we barrel down Benjamin Parkway. With a huff and a puff, I dove over my seat an grabbed the things just before they fell out. It was a "dramatic chase scene music" moment at the least. We ended up taking one of those monstrous things back. Inside, I placed a note reading "Too bloody huge! What the hell were you thinking man!?"

Aside from all that, I don't know what the hell I'm doing lately. I feel as if I might as well spend the rest of my life sitting and staring at a wall all day. I don't know what the fuck has clicked inside my head, but it's been clicking all month. Days seems like the same. Wake up, go to school, not pay attention. Draw stuff. Sit and be a zombie at lunch. Go home. Sit in front of the computer. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The only sort of randomness is found on Friday nights and Saturday nights. Everything else just seems like a period of time waiting for Friday and Saturday.

Maybe this will all change when school ends.
08:44am 19/05/2005
  Everything's finally over... almost. Fortunately, there's none of the end-of-year rushing that usually accompanies mid-May. My plans to rush early paid off, bigtime. Hooray for planning ahead of time.

It seems Bill Gates is using his fiscal empire to fund improvements on public high schools.

He just scored a million points on my list.

Included in his plan are three "R's" (New Deal, anyone?) for high school improvement. Rigorous, getting kids pumped up about challenging themselves. Relevence, taking courses that actually focus on their individual goals. And relationships, increasing teacher-to-student ratios and getting teachers to form more personal relationships with their students.

Fantastic, Mr. Gates.

Looking back on my middle school days, I can tell you that these things work. Our graduating class of eleven students (twenty-ish when combined with the class sharing the rooms with us) had two teachers who maintained very close relations with us. Some of those teachers are people I know more than anyone else.

"Our high schools were designed fifty years ago to meet the needs of another age, until we design them to meet the needs of the 21st century, we will keep limiting -- even ruining -- the lives of millions of Americans every year. Only one-third of our students graduate from high school ready for college, work, and citizenship, the other two-thirds, most of them low-income and minority students, are tracked into courses that won't ever get them ready for college or prepare them for a family-wage job, no matter how well the students learn or the teachers teach."

Finally, recognition.
Good thing I'm not a prophet   
10:24pm 15/05/2005
  Hey, there used to be a journal here, right? Sorry for the lack of updating, May has been a cruel mistress for her past two weeks' stay, and I've not been much in my right mind to deal with teh journalfunkl.


AP exams were bumpkins. I think I screwed both of mine pretty heavily, like King Kong heavily. Good thing they don't count to the final grade. I'm more concerned with my grades in the classes, as they both teeter between C and D with nothing I can do about US History and way too much to do about English. There's another blasted reading quiz tomorrow. I think. Damn.

Other news... I made a fairly rad Romeo & Juliet Ad thing, though this is pretty much defunct to actually use since I beleive our production version will be altered. Still fun to make though, turned out pretty good.

As per entry title, I ha some pretty fucked up dreams the past couple of weeks. Most memorable was one of myself and some unknown individual (though I seemed to him/her at the time) traipzing down elm street at night with the horizon slightly apocolyptic red. He/she kept babbling on abotu how much I sucked when an aircraft blazed overhead at breakneck speed. I cought a glimpse of the bottom of it as it silently zoomed by, with an ungodly loud sonic boom following. It did this a few times as mushroom clouds seemed to grow in the distance. From the looks I gathered, the plane looked to be either a Eurofighter, SAAB Gripen, or a Rafale (Lo, behold my vast knowledge of modern combat aircraft), which would otherwiese signify we were being nuked by Germany, Sweden (who I don't even think has nukes), or France respectively. Incidentally, we've pissed off all these nations in the past few years, and they've since formed the EU. Eerie? You bet it is.

Certain days these past weeks have been spent doing nothing but playing Star Ocean 3 or Call of Duty, both of which I've gotten my ass thoroughly kicked in. I've also started a new sketchbook with lots of EXTRA neato pictures insides. Scans pending. Different styles have been used in different drawings. I've even got one very Hella Comics-ish, something I've been trying to do for the past year or so.

I've been working vigorously with 3dsmax as of late. As a result, I see everything in standard primitives. EVERYTHING. That's no monitor in front of me, that's two chamfer boxes with dark plastic material and dark reflective glass on the front.
Good luck, comrades   
11:02pm 01/05/2005
  May fortune smile on all those taking AP exams.  
04:11am 01/05/2005
  4AM again. room is freezing. I've got the space heater on the right side of my desk, so I'm undercooked on my left.

Why the hell am I not asleep?

...oh yeah, the coffee thing.


Yeah, that'll probably kill me or something someday.

I'll try to make at least one more post before Hell Week starts. After it's all over it'll be laziness for a few days (weeks) and then off to the races jobly hunting and collegely searching.
02:47am 29/04/2005
  I JUST now finished the play. It's a good 25 or so pages long. I pretty much wrote the ENTIRE thing today, and it turned out pretty good. I think the quality is pretty consistent, though the tone certainly isn't. The first and second half of this play are, as I said before, like day and night.

If anyone wants to read email me.

You should know what it is by now.

TheXyco (put at sign here) gmail dawt kawn.
     Read 2 - Post
a Star Wars kid's dream....   
12:47am 28/04/2005
  But can it fly?  
     Read 1 - Post
Eyes.... burning   
08:34am 27/04/2005
  On the handcuffing of a 5 year-old girl in Florida, one man said to another:

"It's because she's black. They wouldn't handcuff her if she was white."

To which he replied:

"When white kids go crazy, they bring guns to school and shoot people. Then they shoot themselves. There's no time to handcuff them. gtg."
     Read 1 - Post
09:29am 26/04/2005
  Went to the library yesterday and read some more George Orwell essays. I was surprised to see him address issues that remain current in today's schools. Things like teaching for tests and how children are taught to memorize factoids rather than gain full scope on concepts through critical thinking.

I came home fresh with ideas and wrote up my own little two-page narrative / commentary. It's actually two different concepts that are somewhat linked together. The first part addresses Greensboro as a city and how it is basically an extension of your everyday highway town. The second part is more personal and describes how my car is a sort of private mobile home. It's not the most flavorful or well-written thing I've ever finished, but I did finish it, so leave comments or email me if you want to read.

Speaking of cars, mine has to go to the dealer to get a Check Engine light checked out. I think I'm cursed. Every car I sit in gives me that light. All this coincides perfectly with Matt coming home, so I'll probably be without wheels for a day or two. Bummer.

I've started work on the play. The due date has been pushed back to Thursday, but I'm not sure if I'll have it done by then. However, I think the hard part of getting a solid idea in my head and sticking with it is pretty much over by now. It starts out fairly light-hearted, but turns into something very dark. The two halves of it will be like day and night, which gives me alot of freedom to be zany, but also lets some heavy dramatic elements in.
04:02am 24/04/2005
  Okay, I've got the idea mapped out in my head for the script, now there's the double pain in the ass of writing it. It's due Tuesday so hopefull it'll be ready by then.

Apologies to the people I've told I'll do shit with throughout the past few weeks. Stuff's a bit crazy with Hell Week coming up, and I don't want to completely screw it up. If things go well, I find myself with alot more slack in senior year.

Matt will supposedly be back Tuesday with T-shirts, then heading up to NJ on Friday. I have confirmed that there wil be more shows here in Greensboro though. Sometime in May.
Ladies and Gentlemen..... John Edwards....   
11:02pm 20/04/2005
mood: bark
Everyone is supposed to be reading River Road. If you don't, then you suck at reading.

Still haven't touched Sparknotes and the ID's are not even close to being done. Looks like another end of the week cram session is to pass. Expect me to be more on edge that usual for the next two days. Maybe I'll be a bit more lucid and productive in the morning after some coffee.

Also, I need some kids to look at different ideas I have for the play I'm supposed to be writing for class. I think pretty much only Keegan, Amber, and sometimes Liz read here, and you all I think we be able to help me out. IM or Email me sometime between now and the end of the weekend. The sooner the better.... batter.... butter..... mmmmm.... buutttttttteeerr......
     Read 3 - Post